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Challenge #162: Beardless Battle


Community Member for 2 years
Challenge #162: Beardless Battle
Story: Noctua Spell
Contributions from: Flamestalker, Pistax, Rednir, Liort, Noctua Spell, AbbeyRutger

Tagline : Beardless sailor Jan-Piet sets out on a crusade against the bearded!

"hon, hon, hon" Laughed Victor as he stroked his moustache. Ivan pointed at the next one in line to praise their, in their eyes, magnificent beards. The next one in line was Philippe.
“Our beards are so full, we could take out but a tenth and it would be enough to cover Jan-Piet in body hair!” Some of them chuckled while the kinder ones made an attempt to frown.
That was when a disgruntled humph was heard. The bearded men turned around and saw Jan-Piet frowning while he walked towards his oar that he had left by the table.
“What’s so good about a beard anyway?” He grunted as he made to leave.
“It has class.” Charles said while gesturing at his facial hair.
“It keeps one warm in winter.” Victor said as he pointed at Ivan, who smiled at that.
“It is great for…” Philippe began, when Jan-Piet interrupted: “Yeah, yeah. If that’s the only thing you’ve gotta proud of I guess you gotta have to focus on it.”
“Why, you simpleton of a sailor! BAR! BAR! BAR! I am a sailor. I am so proud I can row!” Charles angrily snarled back.
“Row, row your boat, away from town! Then he sinks, way, way, down!” Harry happily sung.
“ You don’t even have a beard!” Jan-Piet remarked annoyed. There was nothing wrong with being a sailor! Without sailors they wouldn’t have any fish to eat! Without sailors they wouldn’t even be able to trade with foreign countries. The nerve of this lot!

Harry in response to Jan-Piet’s remark stroked his facial hair and pointedly looked at Jan-Piet’s face.
“Fine, you idiots! I’ll prove having a beard means absolutely nothing! I’ll go beat up everyone with a beard I see and I will come out the stronger one!” Jan-Piet proclaimed as he left the room.

  • Your captain has to be Jan-Piet
  • You cannot bring any crewmembers with facial hair*
  • Your over attitude after expedition 5 has to be Aggressive
  • Defeat bearded or moustached bosses for bonus points**
  • You must play on Adventure mode.
*The following explorers have facial hair and cannot be used on your crew: Phillipe, Earl, Harry, Ivan, Victor and Charles

**The following bosses are considered to be beared or have a moustache: Boris the Claw, Don Smuggleone, Smuggler Captain, Chuckles the Hyena, McRea, Muffles, Captain Roche, Anagogic boss, Bibiño the Cat, Djinn boss, Captain Playboy, Supreme Scientist Darwin, Amir (in Shangri-La only) and Rivaleux

Your Score is your Renown + Bonus Points
You get 1000 Bonus Points for each bearded boss defeated, check the list above to see which ones count.

    • BRONZE: 4000 Points (1MP*)
    • SILVER: 9000 Points (2MP*)
    • GOLD: 16000 Points (3MP*)
    • PLATINUM: 22000 Points (3MP+**)
* Number of medal points awarded when playing on Classic Difficulty. Easy and Normal give less, according to these rules.
Gold and Platinum medals may only be achieved without losing, though Silver and Bronze are still possible to get with just the Record sheet for that trip.
** The platinum medal is extraordinary and can only be achieved on Classic or Impossible difficulty without losing. It doesn't increase Medal Points further than a Gold medal, but we will track how many you have.

How to participate
You can participate with a highscore, a story or both.

Write a story. Use the Challenge theme as an inspiration by looking at the constraints. Find other stories in the Fan Story directory or by looking at previous challenges.
Post your story in a new topic in these forums.
Also link to it to this thread with a comment: Include the first paragraph/few lines of your story in the post here to show readers what your story is about.

Play the game according to the challenge rules and in Adventure mode.
Post in this topic a screenshot of your Win Screen*, right after the ceremony or your Leaderboard record.* Also include a text version of your score with the submission to allow for error checking.
Submit by 12:00 noon CET, 07/08/2019 (Or 08/07/2019 for those using MM/DD/YY)
(click here for your local time equivalent )
NOTE: Only one score will be accepted - only one submission for each player please. If you wish to enter a new score, please edit your initial entry and make it clear which score you are submitting, and add the word "EditGreenlight" to the entry so we can see immediately when the result needs updating.
*If you forget to screenshot the Win screen, you can also enter with a screenshot of your Leaderboards: Go to Main Menu > Leaderboards > Local > click the entry that matches your submission game > screenshot those details.

Game Version
Must be Build 522 or later

For the previous challenge - Challenge #161: Sacramental Tintinnabulation - click here
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